I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
