Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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