you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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