what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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