ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
