You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
