I feel great
I just peed on a car
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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