You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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