im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
