Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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