and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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