omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
