i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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