Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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