I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize