Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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