Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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