I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i think i just lost a toe
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
