I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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