i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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