um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
