i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
