yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
