I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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