WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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