put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
