JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
