Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
