i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
