she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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