he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She announced her abortion via fbk
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
