what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
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As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
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i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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