The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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