WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
