I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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