My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I checked into jail on foursquare
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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