just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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