if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Life is so much better after having sex.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
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So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
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After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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