You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
