Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
and you said cock pushups were impossible
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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