Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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