Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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