You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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