I wish I could punch you in the face.
where am i from again
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
