This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
