is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
