I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
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Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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