you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
