i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
