I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
