Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
