Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize