Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
