do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize